Singleness

Talking with a friend the other day, she expressed to me how she is discontent, especially in the relationship department.  She is 30 and single and very successful at her job.  She is an amazing woman and I am so blessed by her friendship.

Her honesty got me thinking.  Many times over the years I have been in the same position.  I’ve been discontent with my life.  I’ve wanted to be in a relationship.  I still have days like that.  But recently, God has been calling me to give all that over to him.  I need to trust that even if I’m single for the rest of my life, He will provide for me and get me through anything that crosses my path.

Being single and moving to another country isn’t easy.  When I first arrived in Lesotho, I didn’t know anyone.  I didn’t have a built in support system like married people do, I had to start from scratch.  Back home I have an amazing group of friends and a wonderful family.  I have support all around me.

A couple months into my time here, I longed to hang out with someone I knew longer than a couple months.  I wanted to have a deep friendship with someone, but it doesn’t happen overnight.  I looked around me and saw people who were close, who had that deep relationship and I was jealous.  I admit it, I was full-on jealous and I know I didn’t always react well.  I wanted people to realize what was going on with me, without them having the history of my life to understand my reaction to things.

Fortunately a friend realized I needed to branch out and she got me involved in a ladies Bible study I still attend.  I made friends and now have some amazing friends.  God provided me a fantastic support system here in addition to my one at home.

God provided.

That is the biggest thing here.  He provided.  He was the one that inspired my friend to help me branch out.  He was the one that inspired another friend to do dinners on Thursday nights for a bunch of the single ladies in their late 20s early 30s.  He was the one that provided my core friends, the people who have supported me and loved me through the last year and a half.

He did it.

Not me.

Now, I’m looking at going home in 4 months.  I’m still single.  I’m going into an unknown, yet known world.  I have friends there, but many have not been here and I don’t know if they will understand what I’ve been through the last couple years.  I’m moving to Florida, at least part of the time, where the only person I know is my Mom.

I’m leaving the amazing support system God has provided for me and again I am afraid.  But that fear is not of God, it comes from the enemy.  God will provide me exactly who and what I need to deal with culture shock.  He will help me be able to explain my life here to friends at home.  He will get me through.

He will.

And again I’m looking at going back into the mission field single.  I’m looking at moving to another country possibly without knowing anyone.  I will have to establish myself again in a strange place, with a strange culture, and a strange language.  Yet, because of my experience here in Lesotho, I know He will provide.

He will.

So, while I am still single at 32, an age where I hoped to be married, I know the Lord will get me through.  I trust Him with my life, my singleness, my everything.  It isn’t easy.  I want to be married.  I want to have someone I can talk with and experience life with.  Someone I can serve God with.  I want that very much.

But God’s plan is so much better.  If I had been married with children at 30, would I have been able to come to BG?  Would I have been able to quit my job and move to Africa?  Maybe, but not quite as easily.  And my experience here would have been quite different.

I am blessed to be single.  I am blessed to be in God’s will.  I am blessed to have the freedom to do what He has called me to.  I am blessed to be free to travel and see Africa.  I am blessed to serve Him here at BG.  I am blessed.

So, I am trusting God with my life, with my future.  I trust Him to provide for me wherever I am called.  I trust Him even if I remain single for the rest of my life.  I trust Him and I am thankful He loves me.

 

PS – I know moving to another country as a married couple or with a family isn’t easy either.  So, if you know anyone who has moved to another country, another culture, pray for them.  The enemy will attack them with whatever he can, so he can stop them from doing the Lord’s work.  This just happens to be one way he has attacked me as a single person.

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2 thoughts on “Singleness

  1. Deanna Mann

    Kristen you are so right in everything you expressed here! It is very hard to be single; but you have the Lord and He is doing a wonderful work in you! I just wanted to tell you that you are a complete inspiration. Thank you for serving the One and Only God & allowing Him to direct your path. It is very easy, when you are married, to allow yourself to fall into loving your spouse and making him a higher priority than the Lord God. In my case, I had not realized I had done that until after Lee’s passing. I thought my relationship in the Lord was very strong. It wasn’t until after Lee’s passing I realized how weak it really was. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Prov. 3: 5-6.

  2. Thato Moeketse

    wow Kristen…
    such a touching and yet inspirational post. Jesus is the greatest love story ever told. so even if you are called onto a life of singleness forever, i am glad that you strive to always be found in the business and will of our Father. i can relate to most of what you wrote here and im so happy for the strength God has given you and will continue to. I LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU HERE IN LESOTHO AND ARE THANKFUL YOU ARE A PART OF THE BEAUTIFUL GATE FAMILY. MOSTLY, NTATE MOLIMO OA U RATA AND HAS GREAT PLANS FOR YOU. IM GLAD YOU TRUSTING IN HIM.

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